Ich wusste stets, was ich will - doch das wollen viele
I always know what I want - and that is a tough deal

Trotzdem setzte ich mich zwischen alle Stühle
So I settle between all chairs

Und machte es mir bequem - bis hierhin kein Problem
And make myself comfortable - so far it’s been no problem

Ich strengte mich an - gehörte doch nie zu denen
I strive - to belong to neither side

Und schwelgte doch nur in unerreichbaren Plänen
And stay above it all

Und am Ende war der Lohn Frustration
But in the end, all I got was frustration

Ich dachte, ich könnte es erzwingen
I thought I could pull it off

Der Selbstbetrug tat mir nichts bringen, denn …
But self-deception did me no good, because…

Du bist immer dann am besten, wenns dir eigentlich egal ist
You’re always best when you’re actually yourself

Du bist immer dann am besten, wenn du einfach ganz normal bist
You’re always best when you’re simply as usual

Du bist immer dann am besten - du musst das nicht mehr testen jedes Mal
You are the best - no need to stress yourself out every time

Dein Spiegelbild ist anderen egal
The reflection in the mirror doesn’t matter either

Ich war nicht mehr ich selbst - es wurde gefährlich
I was no longer myself - it became dangerous

Tat, was andere verlangten, war zu mir selbst nicht ehrlich
Having to please others all the time didn’t actually sit well with me

Wer Wahrheit simuliert, wird nur kurz akzeptiert
After all, pretense wouldn’t go too far

Ich machte es allen recht - alle sollten mich lieben
I did everything right - everyone should love me

Sah nicht die Dämonen, die mich dazu trieben
I saw naught of the demons that controlled me

War gefangen und nicht mehr frei und ich ging kaputt dabei
I was imprisoned, no longer free, and thereby became kaput

Man kann die Welt nicht ewig blenden
One cannot fool the world forever

Ich muss den Quatsch sofort beenden, denn …
I must put an end to this nonsense right away, because…

Du bist immer dann am besten, wenns dir eigentlich egal ist
You’re always best when you’re actually yourself

Du bist immer dann am besten, weil der Ehrgeiz dich sonst auffrisst
You need to believe it, because otherwise ambition would devour you

Du bist immer dann am besten - du musst das nicht austesten - nicht noch mal
You are the best - you musn’t stress yourself out - not once more

Dein Spiegelbild ist anderen egal
The reflection in the mirror doesn’t matter either

Du kannst für eine Weile dein Umfeld belügen
You can deceive others around you

Doch dein eigenes Herz wirst du nicht betrügen
But you can’t deceive your heart

Man erntet, was man sät - drum wirds dein Herz sein, das dich verrät
You are what you are - your heart will reveal your true self

Ich will deinen Elan doch überhaupt nicht dämpfen
I don’t want to dampen your spirit

Wenn du etwas willst, musst du darum kämpfen
When you want something, you must fight for it

Nur eines versprichst du mir: Bleib immer du selbst und bleib bei dir
Promise me just one thing: Always be yourself and believe in yourself

Ich bin immer dann am besten, wenns mir eigentlich egal ist
I’m always best when I’m simply myself

Ich bin immer dann am besten, wenn mir keiner ins Regal pisst
I’m always best, even when I don’t aim straight

Ich bin immer dann am besten - am zweit-, dritt oder zehntbesten
I am the best - and second-best, third or tenth

Von mir aus auch mal nicht am besten
I don’t care if I’m really not the best

Ich muss das nicht austesten
I musn’t keep pushing it

Nicht noch mal
Not once more

Mein Spiegelbild ist anderen egal
My reflection in the mirror doesn’t matter either

just booked my ticket for my Easter trip.

destination: Nuku'alofa, Kingdom of Tonga.

duration: 8th to 15th april, 2009
what to do: golf, fish, snorkel, drink kava, eat, sightseeing, sunbathing, cycling, eat nasty stuffs, and repeat.

cant wait!

i was there.

ever tried to search your own name in facebook?

i did that a few days ago. results - stunning.

i can easily say there is at least 10 Ong Jia Weis in Facebook. though mostly from Singapore.

and also, quite a lot of girls...

told ye mom my name is kinda girlish - she just wouldnt believe it.

1. ive moved house, this time to a student flat called no.14.
this place is cool as. you are practically living in the city center, and yet you feel like you are not. not too much of noise from cars, you got yourself a nice yard, nice BBQ area to have functions, and of course - good mates that are always ready to hang out with you when you want to. in fact, i think they sometimes party too much that i cannot keep up with them. tough lot! better than then dull, sometime racist WSA!

2. ive got myself 2 jobs - as a RA, and also as a mailboy.
please do not say that im a workaholic until you hear the reason. i firstly applied for the RA position at the end of last year with little hopes. i do not see myself good enough to be given such an opportunity to be honest. so to be safe, ive asked a friend of mine to get me a job as a mailroom staff in her office. a few weeks after getting myself confirmed at the position, i was told that i was accepted for a position of RA at 14 flats. i accepted it gladly but im not sure what am i gonna do with it. it will be very bad if i decided to quit the mailroom job cos i will put my friend in a very bad position. she helped me get the job, and i shoudlnt do that to her. and of course i will not let go of my RA offer. its a good job, and it pays well. so for now, im working 2 jobs, and trying hard to keep myself thinking positively about that.

the RA job is really nice. you practically get paid to hang out with people. although certain parts of it are quite daunting, such as having to control and sometimes shut down parties that went out of control. the rest, its easy. just help these residents to change bulbs, get new chairs, and etc. i love it. you get asked to parties, and you make heaps of new friends. you build up characters, and work ethic as well.

3. i am now alone in auckland.

bro, please dun get me wrong on this. its fun having you around in auckland, its just sometimes i would prefer to be alone, and not having my actions told to mom or dad. i would prefer to keep my private life private, just like how i never tell mom or dad what ya doing here in auckland.

i am also away from my IPBA mates now. not to say that they are bad.. its just that i prefer to live a more private life. and not having people going aorund gossiping about me.

4. im enjoying my studies.

for the first time since i started tertiary, i finally take charge of my own learning. for the first time, i managed to study a whole chapter of of textbook before going into lecture. thats because im doing 2 subjects im quite passionate about - computing and astronomy.